Although we still won't be writing any songs about excessively-appendaged amphibians or Finnish death metal vocalists with questionable backgrounds, RATHBONE, nonetheless, has some exciting news to announce! At the culmination of its SACRILICIOUS summer tour – which is sure to be one of the strangest musical events on record, as no actual "music" will be heard aside from the occasional beer-tab solo and the dog's snoring – RATHBONE is proud to announce that it will be making a cameo appearance aboard the 70,000 Tons of Metal cruise!
Even though the SACRILICIOUS tour will probably collapse after a week or so, due to mismanagement, lack of funds, and severe intoxication, RATHBONE considers its upcoming appearance at this massive, floating heavy metal festival to be the perfect way to cap off its (likely limited) time on the road. Plus, while on board, we'll be filming the final footage for RATHBONE's live/behind-the-scenes DVD, which is scheduled for release (fortunately, not on bologna) early next year!
Still not enough RATHBONE for you?? Well, then, you're in luck: those fans who find themselves in need of additional BONING have the opportunity to meet the band after its epic performance aboard 70,000 Tons of Metal! RATHBONE, which is legally obligated to hand-feed its llamas an expensive mixture of saffron-powdered alfalfa and 1958 Glen Garioch (we've sincekilled fired the lawyer who negotiated that contract), will be riding onto the ocean liner in style with the help of its brand-new RATHBUS.
The band has graciously acquiesced to a meet 'n greet with fans aboard the RATHBUS, and will offer bus rides upon the waves for $666,666 apiece. (Please note that RATHBONE is not liable for any accidents that may occur, as we haven't yet tested the RATHBUS to see if it can float.) This promises to be a unique and rewarding experience*, not only for the fans, but also for the band itself, as RATHBONE is still attempting to recoup the losses it sustained from the failed release of the WURSTALBUM.
So, grab your wallets and floaties, and prepare yourselves for the post-tour party of a lifetime! The sea (and our empty bank accounts) are calling!!
*Please also note that RATHBONE makes no guarantees as to the ability or fitness of its members to attend scheduled appearances aboard 70,000 Tons of Metal, as the bars on this voyage will be open 24 hours a day. Our philosophy is: if you're awake enough to drink, you're in no condition to be sober!
Even though the SACRILICIOUS tour will probably collapse after a week or so, due to mismanagement, lack of funds, and severe intoxication, RATHBONE considers its upcoming appearance at this massive, floating heavy metal festival to be the perfect way to cap off its (likely limited) time on the road. Plus, while on board, we'll be filming the final footage for RATHBONE's live/behind-the-scenes DVD, which is scheduled for release (fortunately, not on bologna) early next year!
Still not enough RATHBONE for you?? Well, then, you're in luck: those fans who find themselves in need of additional BONING have the opportunity to meet the band after its epic performance aboard 70,000 Tons of Metal! RATHBONE, which is legally obligated to hand-feed its llamas an expensive mixture of saffron-powdered alfalfa and 1958 Glen Garioch (we've since
The band has graciously acquiesced to a meet 'n greet with fans aboard the RATHBUS, and will offer bus rides upon the waves for $666,666 apiece. (Please note that RATHBONE is not liable for any accidents that may occur, as we haven't yet tested the RATHBUS to see if it can float.) This promises to be a unique and rewarding experience*, not only for the fans, but also for the band itself, as RATHBONE is still attempting to recoup the losses it sustained from the failed release of the WURSTALBUM.
So, grab your wallets and floaties, and prepare yourselves for the post-tour party of a lifetime! The sea (and our empty bank accounts) are calling!!
*Please also note that RATHBONE makes no guarantees as to the ability or fitness of its members to attend scheduled appearances aboard 70,000 Tons of Metal, as the bars on this voyage will be open 24 hours a day. Our philosophy is: if you're awake enough to drink, you're in no condition to be sober!
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