Hello from Jail!

The good news: RATHBONE's collective prison sentence has been commuted! The bad news: it's been commuted to the prison cafeteria...?!! (See the editor's note on this RATHBLOG entry for an explanation of why we were arrested - starting with the Narwhal herself, of course…)

So, fellow RATHBONERS, we need some culinary inspiration. What would *you* cook for a hausful of cons?

Furthermore, what would you cook for a roomful of trolls? (The ladies of RATHBONE have somehow been weasled into making dinner for our most-the-least-favorite Finns on their next tour, which is sure to be a fiasco… wisely, we've already ruled out Karjalanpiirakat.)

THIS IS NO

Hailz RaTRBONERS,,

I read a post thsn morning abhout us gettibng a theme resatauarant and I just wanto say i am very PISSED.

I'm fucking n ot kidding this time. You kjnow I am lead front man on this band and youg uys should NOT EVER BE making decisions without mu consent but you do it all the time and all I can do is get in the house after quality time spent in the bar this the morningg and go NOOOOOOOO FUCK YOUUUUU. I NEVERR WANTED A THEME RESTAURANT. WHY ARE YOU BUYIGN ONE AND WHAT DO I HEAR ABIOUT US DOING ONE OF THOSE THINGS WHERE YUOI EAT A WHOLE PACK OF AMERICANNAN CHEES AND A 39 CASE OF PBR AND YOUR MEAL IS ON TRHE HOUSE?!?!?!!??!!

FUCK we cannot afford this business venture!!!!!!!

And I can't,,,, get into you guys. Why are you always saying I can't come to these meetings because I am too drunk or too high or too having sex to be there?! I am upset aszxl the counscellling I have to do and myuhj theRAPIST is tired of looking at me. I t would fix thingsz if youl all would just nvite me to thesew mewretingsd and we coudf get stufs done adn i wouldnt besomad and we wouldnt spend osrur money$$$ poorlyy.....

OH FUCK I CANT FIND THE DUCKING ASPOSPOTROPEJHE KEY OINTHIS KEYHBOARD I THINK SOMEBODY STOLE ITK.

Fuck thsis band. Fuck aquavit. Fuck me.

DB

-- EDITOR'S NOTE: After sobering up, my bandmates have informed me that the RATHSTAURANT idea was mine the whole time. Apparently I ranted about it for two hours, held them at gunpoint and demanded we go through with this affair before accidentally shooting Hallo in the foot and... well... leaving the house in my underwear and proclaiming, "I'm the motherfucker of the year and I demand satisfaction!"

...I therefore retract the above post and all claims made within it.

RATHBONE to Debut Doggie Biscuit Line

Yes, you read correctly, folks – in line with its pro-pet agenda, RATHBONE will launch its own brand of gourmet dog biscuits (aptly dubbed 'Boners') in late 2010. Look for them in the dry food section of your local pet store, or in the cookie aisle of the nearest supermarket. (Being perpetually broke, the members of RATHBONE have been forced to live off them for the past six months, so we're pretty sure they're safe for human consumption. No one's died from malnutrition yet, anyway…)

RATHBONE says: don't be selfish – give your dog a Boner! :D